270 Degrees

My life has been very interesting.  I’ve seen challenges that many other people have frankly never seen or stepped up to.  I’ve always tried to do the right thing.  I always try to be a good person, be good to others and hope people treat me the same.  So much has changed since I last posted here.  Behind the scenes I was desperately trying to fix things that were broken.  No understanding, bruised, blemished on the inside but had a smile on the outside.  In the last 6 months things have shifted and changed so dramatically.  No one truly understands the why’s but that is ok.  I’m on a journey.  Life and to live.  Its becoming time to do a little wandering and figure things out.

I’ve accomplished so much its almost unbelievable.  I’m not here to boast.  It was survival.  It was out of necessity.  I have a zest for life and by God I will live it; and live it my way.  I’ve got nothing to prove.  I accomplished the unattainable for some and in a very short period of time.  I took my challenges with stride, with grace,and with appreciation of the support that I got.  Support that I will never ever be forget no matter where life brings me.

I focused on my core being.  Who I am, what I can achieve through sheer will.  Through sheer physical and mental prowess and determination.  I refused to fail and drew upon inner strengths that I knew I had but never had to tap into to this depth.  I inspired many along the way but I want it to be forgotten.  I want to be normal again.  I want people to forget what I had went through.  I want people to know the new me is essentially the same me.  I’m no different just my direction has changed.  270 degrees.  I made a left turn instead of a right and I’m ok with that.  I’m not trying to hurt anyone.  I just want to live!

Late September 2014 I went with a few friends to Penn State to the homecoming game.  We were having the time of our lives.  Going to different bars having drinks meeting different people and just having a blast.  I started to get a headache and went outside to get some Excedrin.  I found myself on a bench and began to lose control of my arms.  I knew something was not right.  I had a few drinks but I never get this out of control.  Someone came to me and asked if I was ok and I said I needed an ambulance and to please find my friends and gave them my name and the names of my friends.  Eventually one of my friends came out.  Very long story short my friend got me into a cab.  I remember pressing with all my might with my quadriceps to get into that cab.  It was insanity that I could not force myself in the cab.  I knew something was seriously wrong but eventually got in.  My friends brought me back to the RV site and once I stepped out of the cab I literally face planted on the ground.  At that point my friend knew something was truly wrong and called an ambulance.

This is where the fun begins

The purpose of morality is to teach you, not to suffer and die, but to enjoy yourself and live.”

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